just an ordinary day.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

taken from Oriah's The Invitation.

Those who speak know nothing and find out to their cost.

Ped made a blog post regarding that Obama statue they're gonna put at Taman Menteng. and she's right. fanaticism is disturbing, AND dangerous. and point two, what has obama done for us? the fact that he grew up in indonesia does not make him deserving of a friggin' statue (and don't get me started about that nobel prize).

Anyway, Ped also named a few people who deserve it more than obama. and when i read munir's name, another name popped into my head: Marsinah.

The name used to belong to a woman that worked for a watch factory. In 1993, Marsinah, along with her colleagues demanded a raise of Rp. 550,- to their wages. from Rp. 1700,- to Rp 2250,-

Long story short, things got messy between the workers, the factory, and the military. Marsinah was missing for 3 days, and when they finally found her, she was already lifeless-- her autopsy showed that she died because of severe physical & sexual abuse. It's never clear who kidnapped and killed Marsinah (actually everybody knows that it's the military) as it was a huge, intricate case of cover-ups. it's a common practice during the Soeharto regime.

Anyway, here's a poem about Marsinah (it's in Indonesian, btw).

It still gets me everytime. I still get the chills, I still get upset from reading it, especially part 3.

and I still get angry.

DONGENG MARSINAH
(Sapardi Djoko Damono)

/1/
Marsinah buruh pabrik arloji,
mengurus presisi:
merakit jarum, sekrup, dan roda gigi;
waktu memang tak pernah kompromi,
ia sangat cermat dan pasti.

Marsinah itu arloji sejati,
tak lelah berdetak
memintal kefanaan
yang abadi:
“kami ini tak banyak kehendak,
sekedar hidup layak,
sebutir nasi.”

/2/
Marsinah, kita tahu, tak bersenjata,
ia hanya suka merebus kata
sampai mendidih,
lalu meluap ke mana-mana.
“Ia suka berpikir,” kata Siapa,
“itu sangat berbahaya.”

Marsinah tak ingin menyulut api,
ia hanya memutar jarum arloji
agar sesuai dengan matahari.
“Ia tahu hakikat waktu,” kata Siapa,
“dan harus dikembalikan
ke asalnya, debu.”

/3/
Di hari baik bulan baik,
Marsinah dijemput di rumah tumpangan
untuk suatu perhelatan.
Ia diantar ke rumah Siapa,
ia disekap di ruang pengap,
ia diikat ke kursi;
mereka kira waktu bisa disumpal
agar lenkingan detiknya
tidak kedengaran lagi.

Ia tidak diberi air,
ia tidak diberi nasi;
detik pun gerah
berloncatan ke sana ke mari.

Dalam perhelatan itu,
kepalanya ditetak,
selangkangnya diacak-acak,
dan tubuhnya dibirulebamkan
dengan besi batangan.

Detik pun tergeletak
Marsinah pun abadi.

/4/
Di hari baik bulan baik,
tangis tak pantas.
Angin dan debu jalan,
klakson dan asap knalpot,
mengiringkan jenazahnya ke Nganjuk.
Semak-semak yang tak terurus
dan tak pernah ambil peduli,
meregang waktu bersaksi:

Marsinah diseret
dan dicampakkan —
sempurna, sendiri.

Pangeran, apakah sebenarnya
inti kekejaman? Apakah sebenarnya
sumber keserakahan? Apakah sebenarnya
azas kekuasaan? Dan apakah ebenarnya
hakikat kemanusiaan, Pangeran?

Apakah ini? Apakah itu?
Duh Gusti, apakah pula
makna pertanyaan?

/5/
“Saya ini Marsinah,
buruh pabrik arloji.
Ini sorga, bukan? Jangan saya diusir
ke dunia lagi; jangan saya dikirim
ke neraka itu lagi.”

(Malaikat tak suka banyak berkata,
ia sudah paham maksudnya.)

apa sebaiknya menggelinding saja
bagai bola sodok,
bagai roda pedati?”

(Malaikat tak suka banyak berkata,
ia biarkan gerbang terbuka.)

“Saya ini Marsinah, saya tak mengenal
wanita berotot,
yang mengepalkan tangan,
yang tampangnya garang
di poster-poster itu;
saya tidak pernah jadi perhatian
dalam upacara, dan tidak tahu
harga sebuah lencana.”

(Malaikat tak suka banyak berkata,
tapi lihat, ia seperti terluka.)

/6/
Marsinah itu arloji sejati,
melingkar di pergelangan
tangan kita ini;
dirabanya denyut nadi kita,
dan diingatkannya
agar belajar memahami
hakikat presisi.

Kita tatap wajahnya
setiap hari pergi dan pulang kerja,
kita rasakan detak-detiknya
di setiap getaran kata.

Marsinah itu arloji sejati,
melingkar di pergelangan
tangan kita ini.

(1993-1996)




stop your obama worship.

Marsinah deserves a statue and more,
-snd

you must not believe your eyes

first and foremost i would like to acknowledge the fact that it is 2 more weeks until FRREEEEDOOOOMM!!!
(cue Mel Gibson)

Yes, ladies and gents, it is already the 3rd of December, which means I only have 13 more days before this semester is over. Joy!

Also, in only 28 days, this year will be over. Can you believe it? Tempus fugit, indeed. On that note, I feel it's fitting to make this post a recap some of my *airquotes* accomplishments in 2009. some of them are, like, THE moments of the year.. while some of them are just random. but hey, it's my list and not yours.

• ok this first one isn't really what i had accomplished. heheh. but Bhumi Galendra Guritno a.k.a. Mas Bhumi a.k.a. DonBhumi a.k.a. my chub little nephew was born to the world on February 25th! Cute as can be, so far he's made a lot of people's hearts melt. Mwehehehe. Mas Bhumiiii cepetan balik ke SF, adis kangeeeeeen :(
• Our work for the Aquarium of the Bay was on that big screen in the Spring Show party that i attended and that. felt. awesome.
• Had the chance to work (well, slave, really) for 3 real clients this semester and i thought that was really cool. I was lucky enough to get the teammates that i had. :)
• Got my first A- for an advertising class! paul huber is the best instructor. just sayin'.
• I saw Swing Out Sister in concert with Mrs.G ...never thought that day would ever happen.. but it did! SOS! LIVE!
• Also, I went to a Coldplay concert which has left me feeling warm and peaceful everytime I hear Strawberry Swing. what happened was that they turned off all the lights when they played that song. I was on the lawn section of the venue, and it was completely dark. When Chris Martin (and the rest of us) sang, "the sky could be blue / i don't mind / without you it's a waste of time" i looked up and all i see was this big sky filled with stars and a single airplane crossing it. That was probably the most surreal moment I had in a while. Wish i had my favorite people to experience it with me though :)
• Oh hey, i wrote a rap for a campaign i did about earthquake preparedness!
• Went home to Jakarta and had a welcom-- i mean, a MUSTACHE party organized by dearest Runi. Isn't she awesome?
• Falling in and out and in and out of earthquakes :\ which was not a tremendously good experience. And, believe it or not, i recited my earthquake rap in my head during the chaos. ahaha.
• I passed my midpoint review with flying colors. And with flying colors, i meant a huge, friggin' A on the report!!! Also had a nice talk with my program director (who was also my copywriting instructor during my first semester in AAU-- who gave me a solid B-- which rarely happens in this school) which basically changed everything this semester. :)
• i made quite a few new friends. they come from the same continent and further. i'm pleased. need to schedule our next dinner though. winter break is approaching fast.
• forgot to mention this earlier but i learned cross stitching in the spring for a campaign i was doing. which was pretty cool.
• i got a blackberry now, so... hit me up on facebook/twitter with ur PINs :)
• also... most importantly, 100kata was finally published AND launched whee-hoo. I would like to thank my 100kata crew (Andy, Hotma, Jay, Krisna, Laila, Nita, and the ever-disappearing Jamal), Penerbit Antipasti (Mas Ron, Ade, Laila, and Ms. Marishka Soekarna for the illustrations), and the lovely people in Goodreads Indonesia! here's a link to 100kata's facebook page, and don't forget to checkout the photos from the launch!
  

whew. that was quite a list.. i don't know how to top this year. next year will be a hard one o_O
________

hmm... what else is new?
oh, this blog's layout is. yeah, i've been meaning to change it since the day i saw that my background is missing. didn't know what happened to it, i don't know what happened to it, and i may never know. i'm just relieved i found this one. watcha think about it?
________

alright, that's it for now. I gotta take a shower, get ready for an advertising cocktail party tonight. it's the winter show and we're entering some stuff. here's my cup of juice, and here's to us winning at least one! *crosses fingers*



looking forward to the last day of the semester,

-snd

UPDATE: WE WON! WE WON! We got 3rd place for our Rainbow Light integrated campaign!

i wanted to say to you that we've come a long, long way

i read one of my seniors' poem last night. i was directed to her blog by her husband who's also my friend. he said he would like to remind everyone of the poetic genius that is his wife. aw, isn't that sweet? :)

anyway, so i did. i went there, and i wondered why the page was taking a while to load. as it turns out, it IS genius. i mean, i always knew she writes really good stuff-- but man, my friend was not lying. i was overwhelmed with that poem that i immediately told runi to go read it.

here's the link to violeteye's poem. wait until the whole page's completely loaded, then read/click/hear the poem just as it's intended to be read/clicked/heard.

i hope one day i'll be able to pull off that kind of brilliance.
________

on another note, i've been trying to write something everyday. i sit (anywhere-- in a food court, library, bookstore, reading desk, park) and get my book out of my bag and just write. sometimes, the words just come in an unstoppable flow, but other times, it can be brutal. there are days where i would just sit for three hours and come up with just 1 line. or 1 word, even. like the one i have written front of me right now: salvation.

what is salvation? the only thing that comes to my mind when i read that word is a cranberries song (remember that creepy video and the words "salvation is free"?). well, that and the salvation army-- but that's just because salvation army is my next campaign.

my apple dictionary tells me that, religiously, salvation is deliverance from sin. another meaning is the state where someone's being saved.

i like that. i like that meaning so much better than the first one. why? i don't know.

yes, i don't know why i like it. is that wrong? i find nothing wrong in that. don't you do that sometimes? liking something (or someone, even) without knowing the reason?

anyway, back to salvation.

i thought to myself, i have been saved a lot of times. for one thing, god's been really really good to me. and i know i'm not one to speak about god because, let's face it, my faith and devotion have been 2 completely different things for as long as i can remember. i would like to change that, maybe in the near future, but for now i'm still the same me-- but i'm still really thankful.

i have been saved a number of time by, of course, my family and friends. and i'm not just talking about small things like fake signatures on the roster (:D) or whatever. it's those big things like... like, i don't know... sunken feelings you've all felt throughout the years, do you know what i mean? i hope so (but it's actually better if you don't).

but let me tell you about something.

i had a chance to talk (and by talk i mean exchanging really long email conversation about ourselves) with one of my friends from an online class i'm taking this semester. for confidentiality reasons we'll say her name is stacy.

stacy is incredible. she's probably 15-20 years older than me. she's had a number of different jobs throughout the years, including being the only female firefighter in an all-men fire station. it was hard, but she toughened up and she eventually was offered a chief position (!!!) but ended up declining it because she needed to finish college. and she did. and she enrolled in more schools after that-- she has multiple undergraduate degrees. isn't that amazing? she's now studying MFA in photography, focusing on documentary, and doing a project on the homeless (i might join her the next time she goes into sf).

but get this.

one of the things she told me was that she had a difficult childhood. while we're not gonna go into details, i can assure you that whatever abuse you experienced as a child will never leave you. it stays there. if it was physical, it leaves you with marks and scars on your skin. if it was emotional, just know that people lie when they say "sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you" because they do. and sometimes leave a more permanent scar than anything else.

how stacy survived her childhood, i can't imagine how. i can't even begin to understand how a child can handle the devastation, without anybody to lean on. how does it feel to look in someone's eyes and see that there is no soul there; instead, there's a void. and while that person does not have horns or tails or devilish accessories, you just know that they're the devil. how does a child comprehend that none of the things that are happening is their fault? and how, as that child grow up, does one heal?

it wasn't easy, stacy said. yeah, i bet. it took her years and years and years to accept that her memories aren't about puppies, disneyland, white picket fences and picnics under a great, cloudless sky. and healing, she said, is also a painful experience. in order to heal, she needed a lot of time to reflect alone. and as anyone can tell you about the typical heartache, your mind and heart can play tricks on you. you get lost in the healing process and slip into even more vulnerability. and if your will & perseverance is not strong enough, you're not gonna make it.

but stacy's here. she's well. she's embracing her life. yes, she's hurt by her past, but she's not ashamed of it. it took her a while to accept it, but this amazing woman has overcome the darkness and, most importantly, she's saved herself.

now.. as i've said in the beginning. i've been saved numerous times by the people around me. but the question is... have i ever even tried saving myself?



have you?




much love,
-snd

entering evening dreams

so here's what we do whenever i don't bomb Runi with my disney obsessions :P

it's called Kerlip
blue part by Runi
green part by me

adalah pendar tutur lagumu
yang kuikuti diam-diam
seperti kepik merah totol hitam
berhinggapan dari bunga melati
kuning labu dan matahari

adalah pendar tutur dongengmu
yang kukagumi diam-diam
seperti kunang-kunang kemerlip
mengedip genit memberi asa
pada malam berdegup resah

lihat, berkilauan air danau
tersiram bulan waktu malam
menari-nari gemintangan
mengikuti lagumu yang terdengar
jauh, jauh sampai hatiku berdebar

adalah itu dan semuanya
menggelembungi kau dan aku
terduduk manis terlibat embun pagi
kembali menanti kepik merah totol hitam
berhinggapan pada bunga melati


Runi's so talented,
-snd

i was born in the arms of imaginary friends

Nope, sorry, it's not an update about 100kata. But there will be one about it soon, i promise! In the mean time, how bout if you go to Gramedia or TGA to buy our book so you can have it signed during the launch (all of its info will be posted here as soon as i have them) :P
________

been looking through my friendster account. lol. that thing's so old and abandoned, i don't know how to operate it anymore. *sombong abis*

anyway, i wish there's a way to download every single picture i have there. I don't know how many i got on my profile but i don't have them in my computer. bummer. should really find time to download them one by one. eek -- that reads /i:k/ by the way.
________

it is Runi's birthday today! November 11!
i still can't believe how magical your birthday is. lol. from now on i'm gonna believe everything you say about your birth date.

anyway... happy birthday dork! i wish you will always, ALWAYS be happy!
________

i'm still waiting for blackberry 9700 to launch. still no official announcement whatsoever :|

i hate the suspense.
________

entering stuff for the school's Winter Show. Hoping it'll get through AND be in consideration for Spring Show again. Crossing our fingers!

still about our campaigns, we're gonna try to shoot our Zappos commercial soon! Yay! It's not a real client or anything, but if we do this right, we're looking to submit it to BIG awards. So, uh, i'm crossing my other fingers. pretty hard to do. especially when you're writing a blog. basically i feel like a lobster trying to type on a computer.
________

and i will close this post with one of my latest. no reason but being very proud of it. :P

it's called Tale Telling

so you want to grow up, but what if i say no
couldn't we just stay here for a moment or so
let's have a childish saturday night
or friday, sunday, any day is fine
finger paint the walls, tell stories in the dark
pretend we're divers surrounded by sharks
fake a lemonade sale outside on the driveway
make believe we live in a castle far, far away
and envious kids will want to explore the chambers
they'll yell from outside saying our names and danger
so cover your ears hard. harder. try to ignore
cause the world is wicked, don't open the door


happy veteran's (and Runi's) day!
-snd

i don't remember you looking any better.

100kata will be available soon, yaayy!

just got word from our lovely friend, Penerbit Antipasti, and they said the printing will be finished on Monday, November 2. Sales should be in the immediate future, so expect them to arrive at your bookstores soon!

friends are working on the launch, they're looking at november 22 as a possible date. whee-hoo now i got another reason to be excited :)

if there's one thing i'm regretting.. it's the fact that i'm not there to be a part of all this. Andi's even going home from Korea to do this launch thing. boo me and school. but... no matter. i'll make sure Hotma will have my signature stamp so she can get all our signatures on the books. lol. in fact, i'm gonna scan my signature right now and email it to her-- been delaying this. should've done that around 2 weeks ago. what can i say? the procrastinator in me is also a die-hard competitor.

...while i can't give you anymore details for now, here's a picture of the cover:


anyway, i really hope you'll enjoy the book. we've worked so hard on it since forever. let me tell you that we've been through a lot of ups and downs with it. i mean, i personally got to know these wonderful, talented, psychopathic friends several years ago.. and what do you know? we still talk to each other. and that says a lot. it's just so gratifying to finally see all of our names on that cover. :D

so.. that's that. and i'll keep you updated about the launch date etc.
oh, and by the way, 100kata blog is temporarily closed :)


life's good!
-snd

guess what's coming in november!